We often see internet jokes about relationship red flags that you should watch out for. There are usually jokes like bad grammar or not drinking coffee as signs that someone may not be a good match in a relationship. While these can be funny, relationship experts say there are more serious signs, also called red flags, that people should pay attention to.
Although relationships involve certain compromises, it is important not to give up your own needs or happiness for someone else. When people first fall in love, it is easy to overlook these red flags, even though they often seem obvious later on.
In order to help you understand this better, relationship experts like Dr. Jessica January Behr, Logan Ury, and Susan Trombetti shared some advice with Instyle about what red flags are. In this article, there are eight big red flags to watch out for. Keep reading to learn more.
How to Spot Red Flags in a Relationship
Sometimes, red flags in a relationship are not easy to notice, especially after it is too late. It is common to realize these warning signs once the relationship is over. To avoid this, it is helpful to sharpen your ability to identify these signs early on.
Experts suggest making a list of behaviors or traits that you have seen in previous relationships that turned out to be problematic. If you notice any of these in a new relationship, it is important to take them seriously. In fact, relationship experts advise that you should step away as soon as a red flag shows up. Catching these signs at an early stage can save both you and the other person’s time and effort.
Relationships are meant to teach you something. Use what you learn from one relationship to make better decisions in the next. Some certain behaviors in the dating pattern of recent generations should raise serious concerns. While some problems can be worked on, others are clear signs to leave the relationship immediately. Below is a list of common red flags in a relationship.
1. Poor Communication
Good communication is very important in any relationship. If someone is not paying attention when you talk, does not respond to your messages, or is emotionally and mentally unavailable, it is a red flag.
It might mean they are not really connected. It is a good idea to talk with them and see if the issue is just different communication styles. Sometimes, patience and understanding can help fix this.
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2. Controlling or Jealous Behavior
Feeling a little jealous now and then is normal in relationships. However, if your partner tries to control what you do, what you wear, and who you hang out with, it is a red flag.
Another big problem is if your partner tries to keep you away from friends and family. This kind of behavior could lead to emotional abuse, which is unhealthy and harmful.
3. Love Bombing
This happens when someone showers you with tons of attention, affection, and promises of an amazing future together very early in the relationship. It may feel good at first, but it is often a way to manipulate you.
Once you are attached, they might suddenly pull away, leaving you hurt. Love bombing is common in people with toxic behaviors, like narcissists. It is also often paired with emotional abuse or gaslighting. It is a major red flag.
4. Bad Relationships With Friends or Family
If your partner does not get along with their family or if they speak negatively about their friends, it could be a warning sign. This is especially true if family and friends are important to you.
However, it is worth asking them about it. Maybe their lack of familial relationships is because they had it tough growing up, but they have now created a new close group of friends that they care about.
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5. Social Media Obsession
Social media is a big part of our lives. However, if someone spends too much of their time on social media platforms or is overly focused on their online presence, it might be a problem.
Many people see this as a red flag. This is because social media obsession can mean insecurity or being too self-absorbed. This behavior is not healthy for any type of relationship.
6. Extreme Emotional Reactions
If someone cannot control their emotions and they often get extremely angry, it is a big warning sign. If they also shut down completely, like giving the silent treatment, it is a red flag.
Acting this way could mean they might be abusive in the future, either physically or emotionally. Also, if someone does not show empathy, like they cannot care about other people’s feelings, it can be that they lack emotion altogether. It is important to be with someone who handles their emotions well and reacts appropriately to situations.
7. Abusive Behavior
If someone abuses you in any way, whether verbally, emotionally, physically, or sexually, it is a serious problem. Abuse of any kind is not just a red flag; it is a clear sign to leave the relationship immediately.
Dr. Jessica Behr explains that abuse is not something that can be fixed in a relationship. It is something that, if you keep staying in it, it can put you in danger. If you are in this situation, seek help and protect yourself as soon as possible.
8. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is when someone tries to make you feel like you are wrong or “crazy,” even when they are at fault. For example, they might blame you for their actions or say it is your fault that they reacted poorly to something. This is a form of manipulation that is designed to make you doubt yourself. It will make you feel unsure of what is real. If something does not feel right, trust your instincts and consider leaving the relationship.
Noticing warning signs in a relationship is about protecting yourself and knowing what is good for you. A healthy relationship should make you happy, help you grow, and feel supportive, not make you stressed or upset.
By learning from your past relationships, paying attention to things that do not feel right, and being honest with yourself, you can have better connections with people. Remember, leaving a bad relationship is not a mistake. It is a smart choice to put your happiness first and find someone who treats you with care and respect.
