Did you know that there are signs that monogamy might not be right for you?
Not all relationships are the same. They come in different forms, with different sentiments, and occur in different ways. Most people think romantic relationships should be just between two people, maybe like best friends, but in a romantic way.
What if relationships did not have to work like that? The idea that romantic relationships must always be one-on-one is not the only option. In fact, there are many other ways people can have meaningful and healthy relationships. One truth is that monogamy, or being with just one partner, is not the only “right” way to build a connection or relationship. In fact, many alternatives exist.
Another truth is that monogamy may not be the best relationship design for you. You might be wired for something else. This article will discuss six signs that monogamy may not be right for you. Keep in mind that this is not a complete list, and every one is unique. Also, it is important to be kind and patient with yourself and others while exploring various ideas.
1. You Have a History of “Serial Monogamy”
When you have a history of “serial monogamy,” it means you feel happiest in long-term, committed relationships. A person who is a serial monogamist usually moves from one serious relationship to another without spending much time being single or dating casually in between.
While it is still considered monogamy because you only have one partner at a time, it is a bit different. It is similar to exploring new connections, like in open relationships, but in a monogamous way. In most cases, when a serial monogamist leaves one relationship, it is because they are curious about trying something new. They believe they need to end their current relationship to do that. As time goes on, this behavior becomes a pattern.
2. You Have Cheated in Your Past Relationships
Cheating in a relationship is often seen as wrong, but it is important to understand why people do it. In most cases, it is not because they want to hurt someone on purpose. Instead, they might feel like something is missing in their life, or they might be dealing with personal problems or trauma. Another cause is that they might be trying to fit into a certain way of living that does not feel natural to them.
For example, some married people cheat, but not because they want to end their marriage. It might be because they are looking for something casual that feels different from the responsibilities they share with their partner. They might want a change from doing things like managing bills or raising kids. Sometimes, people cheat without even planning to; they act without really thinking it through.
If you have cheated in the past, it is worth asking yourself why. Were you trying to end the relationship? Were you searching for something you felt was missing? Or was it simply a way of trying to have both a relationship and something else? Understanding your reasons can help you learn and grow.
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3. You Believe There Isn’t One Person Who Can Fulfill Everything You Want and Need
It is okay to feel like one person can’t meet all your wants, needs, and desires. It might feel confusing sometimes, especially since we are often told that being with one person forever is the only way. However, it is totally fine to explore what works for you in life. You do not need to stick a label on yourself or make a big decision right away. You can try different things and see what feels right for you.
This also applies to exploring non-monogamous relationships. If you are interested in dating more than one person at the same time in a way that is honest and respectful to everyone involved, it is okay to try it. The truth is we already have many people in our lives who meet different needs.
We have friends, family, or mentors. If you feel like you would want to have that kind of variety in romantic relationships as well, you can do so in a healthy way. Just remember, it is your life, and you can decide what works best for you.
4. Having Feelings for More Than One Person at the Same Time
At some point, you might have felt like you wanted to have more than one romantic or sexual relationship at once. That is okay. Being interested in different people does not mean you are doing something wrong.
Some people worry that their partner might leave them if they enjoy being with someone else more. However, a strong relationship is not just about physical attraction or romance. It is about trust, understanding, and connection. Wanting intimacy with more than one person is a natural feeling for some people.
5. Wanting to Explore a Relationship Without Limits
Have you ever met someone and instantly felt a spark, like you just knew they needed to be in your life? You might not know what kind of relationship you want with them yet, but you feel a strong pull to get closer. Normally, we meet people in specific situations, like a date or a business meeting, and we are expected to stick to a certain type of connection with them.
However, if you have ever wished you could explore something deeper with someone, even romantically or sexually, you might be open to other types of relationships.
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6. Feeling Like Something is Missing, Even if You Love Your Partner
In monogamous relationships, we are often told that our partner should meet all our needs. If they do not, we might think, “Maybe they are not the right one for me.” But that is not true. It is possible to love your partner and still feel like you need something more in your life.
Wanting more does not mean you love them any less. It just means you are being honest with yourself about what you want.
If you realize that you want more than a monogamous relationship, you might wonder how to talk to your partner about it. It can be tough, but it is important to have open and honest conversations about your feelings. Talking about emotions, even when it is hard, is part of living a life that feels true to you.
Figuring out what you want in relationships, whether it is romance, friendship, or something more, is a personal journey. Not wanting monogamy does not mean you care less about your current partner; it just means you are open to connecting with more people in an honest and respectful way and avoiding toxic monogamy. It is all about being real with yourself and others.
